thinking about the time a dude with a booth trying to get sign ups (no recollection of what for) approached me and said “Hey! do you know how much a polar bear weighs?” the correct response to this is “i don’t know”, so that the original speaker can say “enough to break the ice!” however, he did not count on Animal Facts Georg saying “i think about 990lbs?” which destroyed any hope for a normal and productive conversation
dropout has become a platform so built on improv comedy that their own shows have abided by the rule of heightening and now we have the noise boys in open rebellion against the prompts of make some noise every new season
love characters who are like “this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i’m wrong i have to face what i’ve done // if i’m wrong i have to face whats been done to me) ”
This trait is much more endearing in fiction than in my mother.
the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don’t want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you’re too stupid to use a window twice
waiting for my nails to dry affords me the perfect opportunity to do the dishes and organize my sandpaper and steel wool collection and synthesize acetone
